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Please am a married man and any time l want to have sex with my wife she won't me to use my tough into his vagina but l always refuse but l see to it that my wife don't feel happy. Please if l do it will it course a problem to me or not
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1 Answer

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Hello,

It would be good to have a gentle chat with your wife so that both of you can discuss about your general sex life.

Discuss about what you can when it comes to sex, what you cannot do, what your are willing to learn and why you can or cannot do somethings.

Using your tongue on a woman's vagina is popularly called cunnilingus. This act is widely practiced nowadays by both married and unmarried couples. It forms part of Oral Sex

Oral sex is now widely practised, in both heterosexual and homosexual relationships.

For many years, it was regarded as an almost 'unmentionable' activity. But these days, research suggests that most sexually active people go in for it sometimes.

In 2013 the National Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyle (NATSAL) survey announced that in all age groups (except the over-65s), the majority of people now say that they have oral sex sometimes.

For instance, 71 per cent of young adults (age 16 to 24) reported that they'd had oral sex in the last year. And 80 per cent of 25 to 34 year olds said the same thing.

So fellatio and cunnilingus are extremely popular, and are widely regarded as a normal, enjoyable part of a sexual relationship. Furthermore, it's been shown that oral sex has certain positive aspects.

  • It can be extraordinarily effective at helping women to reach a climax.
  • It can help men who have some minor difficulty in getting an erection.
  • It cannot get you pregnant (except under the most extraordinary and unlikely circumstances).

However, a lot of people do – quite understandably – get concerned about whether oral love play could give them any infection.

And around 2010, serious worries began to emerge about whether oral sex can give people human papilloma virus (HPV) in the throat area and whether this could lead to cancer. By 2013, it was clear that these fears were justified.

Also experts have recently pointed out that there appears to be some significant risk of acquiring chlamydia and gonorrhoea through oral sexual activity.

In this article, we look at the various risks.

What is oral sex?

First, let's just clarify what we mean by 'oral sex'. There are several main types.

  • Cunnilingus (sometimes referred to as 'cunnilinctus') is oral stimulation of a woman's vagina and/or vulva – and especially her clitoris – by her partner's lips and tongue.
  • Fellatio is stimulation of a man's penis by his partners mouth – usually by licking or sucking. It is often wrongly referred to as 'a blow job' in fact, it is highly dangerous to 'blow' during this manoeuvre (or during cunnilingus).
  • 'Nippling' is sucking or licking your partner's nipples. It carries almost no risk of any infection – except, very rarely, syphilis
  • Oro-anal sex – often referred to as 'rimming' – is stimulation of the partner's anus with tongue or lips. Clinical experience suggests that it is relatively uncommon in heterosexuals. As the anus isn't a very clean area of the body, there is no doubt that rimming will lead to a transfer of germs to the mouth.

HIV infection risk

Because of concerns about the possibility of HIV transmission through the widespread practice of oral sex, the UK Department of Health set up an expert group to report back on the matter. In broad summary, their main conclusions were:

  • HIV can be transmitted by oral sex, though this does not occur frequently
  • both fellatio and cunnilingus have been known to pass it on
  • oral sex is certainly much safer HIV-wise than rectal or anal sex
  • oral sex is probably safer than vaginal intercourse
  • ulcers in the mouth could increase the risk
  • oral sex is more risky than non-penetrative sex (eg mutual masturbation, kissing, etc)
  • during fellatio, if the man avoids ejaculation, it probably reduces the risk somewhat
  • in the case of cunnilingus, there may be an increased risk of transmission if the woman is menstruating
  • there's no evidence that mouthwashes could reduce the risk of infection
  • using condoms or 'dental dams' during oral sex could reduce the chance of infection, but not eliminate it.

You can see from the above that there is always some risk of transmission of HIV during oral sex, whatever precautions you take. However, you obviously cannot get infected if your partner does not have the virus.

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