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The hardest part of finding a person to be with is finding a person you believe worthy of risking letting into your life. That’s what happens when you finally become experienced and mature enough to manage a healthy relationship – you have a difficult time finding someone good enough to keep by your side. The more experience you have dating, the better you know what you don’t like and don’t want; failed relationships have a way of teaching us such lessons. Unfortunately, although it makes finding the right person easier in the sense that it narrows down the candidates significantly, it doesn’t do much for bringing that person into your life. Each person has his or her own set of unique qualifications to measure up potential partners. Each person is into something a little bit different, but I do believe that there is one aspect every person is looking for. That one aspect of a person’s characteristic is uniqueness. We all want a person we believe to be unique – it makes our egos feel all warm and fuzzy. We want someone unique because unique is special, and we need special because we believe ourselves to be special. Again, what this means for each individual depends on the individual. Yet, it all revolves around how perfectly different that individual seems to us. What we should be taking into serious consideration is how crazy a person is. Too crazy is no good, but not enough crazy is just boring. Everyone should date someone who’s a little bit crazy; here’s why: You don’t want a crazy jealous partner, but you do want a partner who is just crazy enough to get jealous and act a little jealous. You have to be honest with yourself: You like it when your partner gets jealous because it makes you feel good. Being jealous means that your partner is afraid of losing you. It also means that your partner is taking a sort of ownership of you, but if we’re going to be honest with ourselves, then we should be entirely honest; we like the idea of people owning us – that particular part of us anyhow. Each individual has a different perspective, a different reality from the next. No two realities are exactly the same, as each reality is the composite result of one’s life experiences. As no two people have ever lived through exactly the same experiences, no two people ever see the world exactly the same. When our life begins to correlate closely with another’s, as in a relationship, we not only begin to see the other reality the person is living in, but that person’s reality begins to rub off on yours. Those who are a little bit nutty tend to have a much more colorful perspective to share. Those who are a little different, who are a little crazy, a little weird, a little out of the ordinary usually know how to have a really good time. Relationships are all about having a good time. If a romantic relationship isn’t fun, then it isn’t very useful. Of course, too crazy is no good, but too much of any good thing is a bad thing. Always. Honestly, the crazier, the better in this perspective. To clarify, I don’t mean psychologically insane; I mean crazy in the sense that they are different than most. It’s a very loose definition that, in this case, makes sex lives much more exciting. Boring people are usually boring in every aspect of their lives. Especially when it comes to sex. The ones who are a bit odd, a bit more energetically present, are those who will more than likely make your sexual experience a memorable one. Just make sure they aren’t too crazy because too crazy is never good in these situations. Which is incredibly important later on in your life. If you find your partner a bit boring now, imagine how uninteresting he or she will seem in 20 years. Relationships only get boring and tiring when those involved are bored and tiresome. People tend to become saner as they leave their 20s and 30s. If you already find your boyfriend or girlfriend boring and mundane now, then I can almost promise you that he or she will only seem more so later on. A bit too crazy now could mean just crazy enough in a few decades. This could be a bad thing, but it could also be a good thing. Crazies (again, I use the term loosely) tend to be more emotional unstable. Or rather, more emotionally fluctuating. This often becomes a bit more of a hassle than a pleasure, but just the right amount of emotional drama in your life is actually good for you and the relationship. It helps keep the fire alive. There is a fine line between exciting and unbearable in this particular case, but finding the right amount of emotional excitement in a relationship is often key to keeping that spark of romanticism alive. Being a bit crazy yourself obviously has its benefits. Having a co-author who can add a little extra flavor of crazy-spice is likely to make for an even more enjoyable life story. The reason relationships are so great is that people get tired of keeping themselves entertained; we need others to help. Just as we need to entertain others in order to keep ourselves entertained. Finding the right partner in crime with just the right amount of crazy will be the difference between an amazing life and an average one.

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Teen Dating Conversation.. (Part....) Why can she date and not I? She: Sir, my elder sister is a year older than I am. She is in her first year in the university, while I'm in SS3. She is seventeen and I am sixteen. How come my parents allowed her to have a boyfriend because she is in the university, while I'm not allowed to? Are we not both teenagers? Me: Anyone who told you that your elder sister can have a boyfriend or go into a relationship just because she's in the university has told you a lie. My dear, the right time and age to start a relationship is: 1. When your values concerning money, sex, religion, and life in general, have been adequately analysed and balanced. Relationships are about sharing who you are with someone else. If you are still developing and unsettled, what do you share? 2. When you are mentally mature to cope with pressures, stress, and challenges. Relationships come with conflicts, not just love and fun. The ill-prepared state of many who rush into relationships is responsible for the frequent heartbreaks. 3. When you are not scared or shy of anyone, either parents, pastors, or peers knowing about the person in your life. Relationships require accountability. A new person in our life should not bring us into conflict with the people whom we were accountable to. 4. When the relationship will add to your present and future prospects. If connecting with a person on a date or in a relationship distracts you academically and spiritually, it’s an indication that it has come at a wrong season, even if it's the right person. So dear, it’s not about age. The question is, are you ready? Also, if being in a relationship implies commitment, I believe you should be happy you are not allowed to make that commitment to one special person above others at this stage. The same should apply to your elder sister. Use your teenage years to learn, understand, and meet people. Also, use this time to make great friends. Don’t complicate this time with an attachment to one person.

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