in Love and Relationship by
THE HISTORY: My "friend," that's a boy, and I have been dating on and off for over two years. In fact we were FWB's (friends with benefits) with a very healthy sex life. We decided to take a break and explore other options... after a long break from each other... we decided to try again, but no more FWB's... HE discussed the future and us being together... I loved to listen to him... our sex life was pretty good, but... after agreeing that we should be "girlfriend/boyfriend" sex just stopped!! (About the last 2 months) He says he's not in mood... he's make's me feel like he doesn't want me, plain and simple... I feel rejected! I love this man,he says he loves me... in fact in frequently brings up living together and marriage, however I can't grasp a vision on the future because I feel that feeling that your partner wants you is a very important part of a healthy relationship... for those that say sex doesn't equal love... your right... but love should incorporate attraction, desire, and a little lust along with the rest of the lovey dovey stuff... I should also add the I have two children from a previous relationship... which he loves, but he seems to be more sexually stand offish when they are around! (Of course not in front of them but they do sleep sometime!)
THE QUESTION: Am I being to demanding or is there a real problem with my man's sex drive... and is there something I can do about?

2 Answers

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Sex, like any other area of a relationship, relies on open honest communication as a basis to be comfortable and grow together. Being you went so long with just sex, you must now get to know each other as people and reach the level of talking and listening to each other so you both can benefit. The day in ,and day out drudgery of life, with kids no less, can wear on any couple, but you must mutually make time for yourselves, as that spark can get buried with out either of you realizing it. So to answer your question, No I don't think there is anything wrong with his sex drive, it has just been suppressed, because the home life is not allowing him to express his desires. What can you do? Babysitters on his off day, where you have time also. Go back to the things that brought you together when you had only benefits. Show him he is number one. Hope this helps.
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Only you can decide if its good enough to be loved like a roommate and not a mate.

For some, it's a price theyd pay. Personally, I don't think its healthy, especially with you being only 30. Sex is important enough for you to come here and write about it. It is something we sometimes try to belittle as petty when its not good.

Well... you need to have a heart to heart with him and with yourself.

If you choose to stay with a man who shows little interest in you sexually you have no room to complain. You chose this path. You can't pretend that it'll get better in time.

I'm married 7 years now with a little one in the home. We get busy, distracted, interfered with. Our sex life isn't what it used to be. That's life. But we still want it and we still talk about it and I think we still want the same things, even if its harder to get done.

If you want something different than he does, you need to think twice. Or you need to change your standards of what is acceptable.

Personally, he sounds lazy and too comfortable to me.
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