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My boyfriend of three years is a very avid porn watcher and collector. This has always bothered me and left me feeling inadequate. He has in secret downloaded tons of porn movies off internet web sites and has viewed them in secret. I have automatically always taken offense to this fact. Whenever I have confronted him concerning this matter he never has anything to say. I guess this question is to all the ladies out there. How would you feel if your boyfriend watched porn in secret? Would you yourself assume that he does not find you attractive and needs to find sexual release with images of other women. Yet, if this was the case I don't think our relationship would have lasted this long. This observation of him has made me constantly feel a need to fit his definition and concept of beauty. :mad:
in Love and Relationship
How to get Lucky in Life

3 Answers

0 votes
I know this might sound dumb, but most men love porn like women love shopping. They can't understand why we like shopping, and we can't understand why they like porn. My husband is the same way. It offended me at first, but then I started to realize that there's no reason to get offended. Looking at images of naked women isn't cheating, so there's no reason to get jealous. I know most women can't help but to get a little jealous though :) What I did is I said if you can't beat them, join them. It is a turn on to guys when women watch porn with them, and it's a great way to spice up your sex life a little. It also gives you a chance to spend some time with him doing things he likes, even though you may not like it. My husband loves to play some of the dumbest video games, but I play them with him to show I am interested in things he is interested in, and maybe he'll show some interest in some of my hobbies. :)
0 votes
I agree with Nautical. Perhaps your boyfriend would like for you to join in on watching the movies or looking at the images. It might be a little fetish he has that he is embarrassed about, and if you show interest he might loosen up and not keep it a secret. He might also get a thrill of keeping it a secret, because it is taboo. Personally, I've never been threatened or intimidated by porn because they are just images. If your sex life isn't being impacted, you probably have nothing to worry about. Men are very visual and well, they like boobies! :) It's a very common thing for men to look at porn, and as long as it doesn't impact his daily life or your relationship, it's probably harmless.

That being said, if the idea of porn makes you uncomfortable, then you need to confront him about it and force him to talk to you. You should not stay in a relationship you aren't comfortable with!
0 votes
He's a guy, masturbation is natural, and some guys find it hard to masturbate from their memory or imagination. If he likes it, then he likes it. You shouldn't take offence to him looking at magazines and stuff, as long as he's not masturbating instead of spending intimate time with you then there shouldn't be a problem. If he didn't love you and find you attractive then why would he be with you? Have you ever looked at a guy in the street and thought 'hes attractive'? I'm sure everyone has, it doesn't mean you don't love him. Maybe he was worried to tell you because he was afraid that you might react like this. If his watching of porn really bothers you then you should talk to him about it, he may tone it down a bit in respect for you, but you shouldn't ask him to stop, some guys have needs and maybe if he didn't masturbate you would be very worn out all the time and you may have a different problem, how much he wants sex! You should respect his opinion of masturbating, its not because he doesn't find you attractive, its just that he's male!
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