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I am an asian woman and have a long distance relationships online with western guy for nearly 2 years now, we have ups and downs for 3 times , then get back in touch. And a few months he looks lazy, and not passionate. He said that he was tired and drained now. I tried to understand the situation, and I also asked if he was bored with our relationship, but he said no, and I also ask whether a chat with another woman more makes you a spirit? He said no. and I also know that he sometimes chat with my sister and he seemed excited.
Then he said that maybe it is time for both of us to pray and ask God what he plans for us. And when I call him as dear, he replied by saying he was not dear. I thought maybe he had not wanted this relationship again with reason tired and drained. I ask for advice on all of my friends, what should I do now? Just let our relationship broken or keep trying to fix all thing, (e.q : I send him text or make a phone call or send image like I did before). And I always the one to fight to make our relationship grow.
in Love and Relationship

3 Answers

0 votes
Have you ever actually met your friend ? If you haven't then I think boredom is setting in. And if you haven't, I am surprised it has gone on this long. It is like having a relationship with a ghost actually.

How can it grow; the relationship cannot put down roots ?

You both sound like two lonely people. Do you yourself not have any family, friends or contacts to take up your time ?

I suggest you break off contact altogether and see how far that goes.
0 votes
STOP having any online relationships. They are fine unless they are your only deep connections with people, because there is nothing 'real' about them at all. Why aren't you going out with people in your part of the world? Do you have friends you do things with? That's how you meet someone to fall in love with, IN PERSON.

I know you are going to tell us that your 2 years with this man is very intense and that you know each other well. NOT TRUE!
It wouldn't be fair to him to assume, but in general, if he is on and off, lazy and passionate, it's because he is involved with several women, either online or in person or both. And chances are there is something about him that women don't like in person when they get to know him better.

As for God's plans, do you believe that God has plans for relationships? I don't, and if you don't, then that's a huge stumbling block to a life together.

Go out with friends, and friends of friends will eventually introduce you to someone nice. Be patient but get busy.
0 votes
Face reality. Online and long distance relationships are hard enough for people that know each other in person, but yours has been this way from the beginning and in 2 years has NOT progressed beyond where it started, ONLINE.

Have you even met? Dated, or related in person over time? Made more plans beyond just the next online chat? Time difference notwithstanding, you have not moved beyond chat buddies and the reality is this chat buddy thing has no chance to be anything other than that.

You have built a fantasy relationship around it, with high unrealistic expectations because the reality is you are both bored with the online fantasy, and need to get real. Since I doubt you ever get together in real life, at least recognize its just chat buddies, and forget the romantic fantasy world you have built at neglect of your real life.

End this charade!! Electronic romance is a poor substitute for caring and sharing with a real life person, and enjoying it. So get a real life that you enjoy with real people and activities. That's how real humans grow through real life experiences, and pursue their own happiness.

You are just stuck on this far away chat/text buddy, and tripping your fool self out over it. AGAIN end this charade! It has become a very unhealthy human interaction.
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