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Recently, as of two weeks ago, I hooked up with a guy I somewhat like, and we are now in a place where it's beyond awkward. So, essentially, we met 3 weeks prior to the whole incidence, and immediately I found him quite attractive. We hung out a hand full of times thereafter, as we had a similar friend group, and I found my interest growing, simply because of how much I liked his personality. Come the weekend prior to the hook-up, and through some misunderstanding on both parts, he kind of dissed me, and I took it as the "what an a-hole" kind of situations, and my interest slowly dissipated. Now, the weekend of the hook-up, we were both at a mutual friend's get together, and while I was civil and friendly, and I didn't pay him that much mind. I took a few bars and he had one as well (Yes, I know doing prescription drugs recreationally is stupid and dangerous), and we drank and just got hammered, and somehow we ended up going back to my place together. We hooked up, and afterwards went back to his place and spent about at least 12 hours together just talking and divulging things I wouldn't otherwise tell people. And, it's easy to write it off as just a drunken encounter, but I felt something I hadn't in a long time. In my last relationship, I was really hurt in the end of it, and it's taken me nearly a year to recover. I don't do casual hookups, and when I dedicate myself to someone or something, it's for real. That night I felt safe, and comfortable, and completely vulnerable, but it was also one of the best nights I've had in a long time. He was sweet, and honest, and seemingly really genuine. I had never been in a situation where I felt that comfortable with a boy. I mean, I only lost my virginity a little more than a year ago, and I have never dated or been in a relationship. So, after that whole thing I was giddy and excited, and I guess expected a little more than I should have. I would text him and he would respond, but it would be lackluster. I began to feel
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How to get Lucky in Life

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Well, you seem to have things backwards, but your autobiography is a good example for why it is backwards. You are hard on the relationship and easy to screw. Ideally, you should be easy on the relationship and hard to screw. And sober up or it will get worse.